There is an undeniable thread of sadness to life. Some is expected
(tho none the easier for that fact). Some is random. Some is
unthinkable. Time moves forward, unfailingly. Unchallengeable. Unchangeable.
The truth of this leaves each of us, every morning, with a choice.
We
can worry, fret and sink deeply into the mire of angst and depression
that is woven by worries and fears and expectations. By schedules,
'should-do's' and demands.
Or we can decide to
honor the possibility in our days, months, years.
If
granted a full life (year count varies) or if we have years stolen
(year count varies) we have the same choices. To dream. To reach. To
scheme. To fail (but dance thru the attempt). To reach for both monumental
and stolen small moments of fulfillment and worth.
There are no
blueprints aside from work hard, be honest, give (always) when you can,
have the sense to accept help (when you need it). Learn without ceasing.
Dream, desire, stretch. I don't honestly believe it matters what you
dream or what you reach for (as long as it harms no other) and lifts
your soul....
So many people in every generation perceive
honoring the possibility of their life, honoring their dream as an
all or nothing
proposition. I've come to believe that it's more of a layering,
beginning with the idea of what vibrates deep in your soul or mind and
carving out any size piece you are able to capture.
If
you want to draw or paint - do it. If you don't feel at ease to do it
on your own take a lesson or learn from a video. Maybe you'll be horrid
at it. At first. Or always. Maybe the first step you take will open some
other door. Layers and pieces. Honor the possibility of your dream,
your journey by trying.
If you have a week or day or hour
or moment to share a coffee with yourself or someone else, do so. Or
stare up into the clouds, or take a nap, or call someone you need (or
someone who needs you). Perhaps it's stealing only a moment for reflection or
indulgence or sharing. A few minutes shared in which you lean or are leaned upon.
The
possibility to honor may be simple, sweet, straight forward. Quick and
easy. Something you're inclined to postpone, consider delaying because it's small and can be done anytime...
Don't.
Don't delay, don't forget, don't dismiss the possibility of "the small longing" of your heart. Don't avoid the slight detour towards contentment.
Or it may be the only possibility that rattles within your soul is significant, closely held, dynamic and dramatic in what it requires.
Timing is everything (as the saying goes) but if the time isn't right
for the full immersion I'd bet there's a corner of the dream you could
slice for yourself.
If I'd kept count of how many
times I've been told (by some very intelligent people) that my plan
wouldn't work, my goal was beyond my reach, my idea was flawed I would
tell you that number. But I stopped counting a long time ago. In my
youth in fact.
Were they right, did I fail? Sometimes.
Was I right, did I succeed? Sometimes. But every time, always I learned,
grew, gained ~ every layer I dug thru and every piece I tore off
honored the possibilities of my life. Some opened doors. Some closed
doors. It's only in looking back the pattern emerges now.
Can
I count the times I was advised I was wasting time with a daydream, a
phone call, a walk, gathering a basket of apples, baking (you can buy it
for less don't-cha-know). Could I have been accomplishing something
productive in those half hours, or mornings, or moments? Sure. If I defined
'productive' the same way those observing me define productive.
Fear
is harnessed by resolve. Stubborn refusal to give up, give way, give
in is key. When you follow your heart, your bliss, your muse, your dream
it will test you. You will feel at times it'll break you.
Sleepless
nights? You betcha. Mac n cheese for a months at a time to balance the
budget sometimes? Oh for sure. Behind on my housework? (wait till I
stop laughing and I'll answer that one)! due to the detours I chose to short contentments that renewed me, that made memories? Absolutely.
But here's the thing....
Whatever whispers to you
in the depth of your soul
is the possibility (be it based within the structure of:
corporate/artist/county/city/designer/dog groomer - it matters not -
your dream is YOUR dream)
. The possibility for happiness, purpose, is being comfortable and content with yourself.
Large
or small, dramatic or momentary. Any layer or piece of joy or a dream
is valuable. Don't wait for all the stars to align. Don't think it only
worth trying if you can have it all. Or for it to be perfect. Or for anyone to understand why you want to "waste time". Or
to feel sure it's emotionally safe. Or wait for everyone (or anyone) to tell YOU it's the right thing to do. It
just doesn't (for most) happen that way.
Small simple moments of happiness and renewal are highly under-valued.
Small
dreams are wonderful. Large complex dreams are wonderful. Stolen
moments/hours/days are wonderful. If I were to write a list of truths,
of where happiness hides the first on the list would be
honoring the possibilities of your days....
